Murder by Death

Where do I begin?  When last I left you my BookLikes friends, Australia was hanging tough in the land of delusion, claiming it had the highest testing rates in the world (it doesn't), that all the cases were because of 'overseas travellers' (they aren't, though, so far most positives are, because overseas travellers and their contacts are the only ones who are being tested), and our supermarkets and liquor stores were being mobbed.

As of tonight, here are the highlights since then:

 - The states and territories have rebelled against the federal government, closing all their schools, and with the exception of Victoria and New South Wales, their borders.  

- Tasmania has rebelled against everyone, and has gone from 'no-one can come in without self-isolating' to 'any non-resident will be turned away' to 'every non-resident currently in the state must leave by midnight Sunday', all in the last 4 days.

- The PM announced that all non-essential businesses must close, weddings could have no more than 5 people (bride/groom/witnesses/celebrant), funerals max 10, no yoga, but boot camp training was ok with a max of 10 people, because the PM wasn't going to tell someone they couldn't work (???).  But when asked what 'essential workers' were, the PM responded that an 'essential worker is someone who has a job'.

- Hair dressers could remain open if appointments were kept to 30 minutes or less and 2 sq. meters between individuals was maintained.  When everyone went 'wtf?' the government said 'ok, hair appointments can be more than 30 minutes'.   o_O

-  The PM went on to say shopping centers would be closed - no wait, shopping centers were open, but the food courts had to close.  But they could sell takeaway.  

-  He went on to say that everyone who can stay home should stay home.  Unless they needed to go to the shops (ie retail shops), and then they should go to the shops, but just stay home.

-  House parties should be avoided, but he wasn't going to tell people they couldn't have friends over, but really everyone should just stay home.  When asked about enforcement, he replied that of course, if the party was noisy the police would respond.

This was all done in one sweeping, fabulous, clusterf*ck of a press conference that was so catastrophically bad, he has announced he will not do any further press conferences, to which everyone breathed a general sigh of relief.

There's mud slinging over cruise ships allowed to dock, and international flights being given old information and allowed to disperse, and WA not allowing ANY cruise ships to dock.

Our cases are doubling every three days and we only have 3000 ventilators in the country.

If it weren't all so deadly, it would be hilarious.